I've got a feeling this email is going to be a long one. (yes i know all my emails are really long already) but please read it it contains a certain experience that I really want you all to hear. It's at the "end" if you wanna skip to it.

Mon, Jan 9, 2023

Last week was crazy but I've been bad at writing in my journal, and I don't remember all of it, but two big things that happened were the companion exchange i had, and the baptism/things that led up to the baptism, okay now that I'm writing I'm remembering more.

 let's start from the beginning, last transfer when my companion was elder Bryan we had tried many times to contact this family in our ward, we had not to much success but they showed up to one sacrament meeting, and there we arranged to have a family night with them, me and elder Bryan we showed up the family night, and it was pretty good, the family consists of the father who is already, a member, his wife who is not a member, and their kids who are also not baptized, the wife's son from a previous marriage, and two other kids they had together, one is a little bundle of joy he is really funny, and he shows up to sacrament meeting more than his family does, and he is only 5 years old, he never ceases t o tell me how much he loved multiple book, of Mormon stories, as well as show me his mad skills in a game called bater cartas (hit cards) (it's super simple you have a stack of cards and you have various ways you can smack the ground/cards in order to make them flip over, and he is a pro). The other is only 2 months old. well we didn't have any contact with them after that until the next transfer which is this transfer, they live really far away in our area, but one day me and elder Romero were nearby so we stopped by and they welcomed us in, we shared a message with them, and it was pretty good, we invited them to read the book of Mormon specifically 3rd Nephi chapter 11, because me and elder Bryan invited them to read that chapter, and they hadn't read it yet, we also invited them to come to church on Sunday, and this is where the miracles start, 

and that's also what i wanted to focus on in this email, this email is going to have a lot of descriptions of miracles I've seen this week and then I'll explain why I'm telling them in the end, 

so we go to church, and we see them at church as well which is always super exciting, well anyways I'm sitting doing my best to focus on the talks, because i have the ability to understand what they are saying, it's just so easy to stop listening because it's in Portuguese and it takes a lot of focus to listen, and the 2 month year old girl they have starts crying, it's clearly distracting them, embarrassing them, and in my mind i think it would sure be hard to feel the spirit and learn in sacrament meeting if my child is crying and loud and obnoxious as a 2 month year old can, so i decided to pray, in the prayer i asked please bless that the child will have peace in their heart so that their family can feel the spirit and feel comfortable, in sacrament meeting, i finished my quick prayer then looked at the child, the child went from crying and instantly stopped, had a really confused look on its face then fell fast asleep and did not wake up until the end.

 For me this was a wonderful and amazing miracle to experience and see, for me one of the most miraculous things that can happen is recognizing when our prayers are answered, it reminds us that God loves us, and is here to help us.

later that week we had another visit with this family, they told us when we arrived that ten minutes after mine and elder Romeros first visit with them, after we had invited them to come to church and left, a member in our ward called and asked if they wanted a ride to church, this is another miracle, the situation for attending church is really difficult for this family, they aren't exactly rich, and right now they don't have a car, they live an hour and 10 minutes walking to the church, and the busses here don't have routes that help out for the situation they have, no one asked this member to offer a ride to church to this family, but in the perfect time and the perfect moment right after they had been invited to come to church by the missionaries, this member decided to give them a call, and i haven't asked but i'm quite confident this member had a prompting and it was a prompting from god.

the family also told us they had their own family night the day before and they read the scriptures we invited them to read, and they talked a lot about the importance of baptism, the father who is already a member talked a lot to his family, about the importance of baptism and the blessing we receive in baptism, as well from joining the church, and if anyone would like a breakdown of why it's important/the blessing id love to tell you just send me an email, this was an event that is very special i know that without the family night where they talked about the scriptures they read, and about baptism, and the son read the whole chapter by himself as well, they would not have been prepared for what happened after. 

after hearing all this awesome things ( miracles) that had happened in their lives between our visits, we shared another message, during this message, i had a clear prompting to invite them to be baptized,

for me this was a really big blessing to receive this prompting from god, another person we are teaching, during a day when we had a companion exchange, had been invited to be baptized during a visit, and when my companion who isn't in my area, and doesn't know the person we were teaching, had the prompting to invite him to be baptized and i didn't receive the prompting and i wasn't ready for it, i was a little bummed to say the least,

however this time i had received the prompting, clear as day, however instantly after receiving the prompting i had a lot of doubts, at the time i was a little bit lost in the Portuguese, i didn't exactly know what was going on, i thought maybe i should wait until the end or until i understand better, this is the plan of the adversary, the adversary wants nothing more than for us to doubt, specifically doubt our prompting/ revelation from god, luckily i have a great companion who 10 seconds after i received the prompting invited them to be baptized, 

anyways this person we invited to be baptized was Jose and his mom, i spoke briefly about this last week in my email and he was the person i got the opportunity to baptize, and he is awesome, his mom will be baptized soon after i have certainty, 

honestly more miracles happened in preparing them to be baptized than i feel are necessary to share,

however lets talk hopefully briefly about the day of Jose's baptism i went to bed the night before excited for his baptism, however i woke up really sick, i had one of the worst stomachaches I've ever had, and a fever of a 100 degrees, i don't know what it was, however i was not going to let it stop me from baptizing Jose, one principle that ill have a lot to elaborate on more this week, is that any thing that god wants to happen god provides a way, and i know without a shadow of a doubt that god wants Jose to be baptized, therefore i know that no matter how im feeling i can go and work and baptize Jose, however this did not mean that my affliction was taken away, it was far from that, we had some things to do before he was baptized that day, first we went to the bank because we needed money for other things that week, then we walked from the bank to the church, its about a 35 minute walk, with a fever of 100 walking in the burning heat is the worst thing ever, and the stomachache was horrible, there were times during the walk when i had to stop because my stomach was clenching in so much pain, my companion noticed this and asked me how i was feeling, i said horrible, then he replied with physically, or mentally, and i replied with physically, he then said what do you want to do about it, i responded in English so he wouldn't understand, i said i want to keel over and die, but i continued walking to the church, 

we got to the church and we had a lot of things to prepare, fill the font, set up chairs, plan what will happen, three hours of stuff before, and my fever and stomach ache persisted, i ended up passing out for about a half hour on a bench in the chapel, i woke up hoping that i would feel, better but i did not, however, once again, i knew i could do all things that god wants me to do so i persisted, other miracles happened I'll talk about them later lol, and i did indeed baptize Jose, first try and i saved him from hitting his head,

Jose is an awesome kid, and I've got a feeling he's going to do a lot of great things.

i had a companion exchange and it was awesome, we always start companion exchanges by making goals, and my goal has been and still is to be ready to train a person, your first 2 transfers in the field are your training, and at the then you are supposed to be able to train someone, which is a lot more difficult than it sounds i think, 2 transfers go by super fast, so thats what ive been making my goal, 

i already said the exchange was awesome because it was i told my goal and we went to work, during this exchange i lead us in everything we did, because we were in my area, it was the first time i had had a phone call in Portuguese all by myself, its really difficult to talk over the phone, and i understood everything in the phone call it was a milestone, i also planned everything in our day, and lead all the lessons, honestly i was a challenge that i completely succeeded in the whole day, it was an extra stretch in my Portuguese and all my missionary abilities, and i didn't fail, it was awesome, i genuinely felt ready to train a person in that moment, 

i got into a decently heated argument for about 5 minutes with my companion in the street we did not have the spirit with us after that, and shortly after while we were both giving each other the silent treatment, it started dumping rain on us, ngl it brought to mind the story of Nephi being tied to the ship. i decided to repent, i said a quick prayer and repented for arguing with my companion then i asked for the rain to stop so that we wouldn't be completely soaked, and the rain did indeed stop, i don't say these things to try and boast about how my prayers are being answered or that I'm seeing miracles and its cool and makes a good story i tell them because they show that with faith any good thing that we ask for, and if it be god's will, god will indeed grant it to us, because god loves us, and he really does answer our prayers,

wait i've already written this much and it was just last week uh o

okey doke this week now lol, we had pday with our district again, it was the ecological park, it apparently has monkeys and stuff, it's a beautiful park, we all had an awesome picnic on top of a very tall hill (for Brazil) you can see the temple, we played ultimate frisbee capture the flag, said hello to a lot of capybaras, they are super cool btw, it was a blast, we also did a white elephant idk why Christmas already happened but it was good. getting home wasn't tho, Campinas Brazil has this wild climate of randomly switching from being extremely hot to torrential rain, the whole time for district pday it was sunny, then when we tried to leave it was raining so hard, but more it rains the hotter your future wife gets so ill remain grateful, we tried to get an uber for an hour and a half, and getting an uber as a missionary without the app and having to ask the secretary to give you an uber makes i more frustrating, i believe 10 drives canceled on us, also when we did eventually get an uber it was really scary, because our diver couldn't see a thing out of his super fogged up windshield, and the roads were totally flooded with water, but we made it home just not with any time to write emails.

Luis we had a lesson with Luis the next day but I'll leave all things Luis for the end, 

one day we had taken an uber to lunch because my companion likes to spend money more than he likes to walk, but when we were in the car the sister told us to come and arrive at 12:30 rather than 12 so when we arrived, early we just decided to wait outside the apartment building and try to do some work on the phone, we sat down on a bench at a bus stop right across the street, and a man sits down at the curb directly across the street from us, we keep giving each other glances, but really the main reason i kept glancing at him was because he had taken a stick and had started making a shank, hes got his stick and he was steadily sharpening his shank by using the concrete of the sidewalk, which honestly was a pretty alarming sight, because he left the apartment building, looked at us, sat down and began making a shank, i pointed it out to my companion, we cracked a few jokes about how we are going to get shanked to death, and in my head i was making a lot of plans about where i could run, or how i could fight this dude if needed, having full confidence that i can beat a 57 year old looking man in a fight or run if needed, but honestly i was in this weird limbo of laughing about how strange the situation was, and having fear and making plans about what to do, i mean im not going to sacrifice lunch, if he crosses the street towards us ill stand up to be more ready, he then after making his stick into a shank at one point of the stick, he then started sharpening the other side of the stick, honestly, it was the same thing with me just thinking about how funny it was, that im making jokes about getting shanked to death, and also being a little scared too, i thought it was a little strange he wanted a double edged shank it didn't really seem like an advantage to me, i started weighing the pros and cons, and betting my odds against the shank, he then stood up and tried to break his shank in half into two shanks, then i realized than it was smart, and my plan in case i needed to fight him probably wouldn't work, because two shanks are a lot better than one, so my plan resorted to running if he makes a move, the situation was just so funny, though. he ended up not being able to break his shank in half though so it was all good, he then kept giving us looks after he hid is shank in his pocket and started looking like he was deciding whether to cross the street or not, however he ended up hopping on a bus with the shank in his pocket still so were good, if you thought this story was scary more than funny sorry, because to me it was just super funny the whole time during and after the experience happened, just watching for thirty minutes a 50 year old man start making a shank on the sidewalk out of nowhere, my area is super peaceful btw, i haven't heard a gunshot or a crime happen yet,

another day this week we had another companion exchange, in the exchange my goal was to be more diligent, in working, especially when i didn't want to, we a made our plan for the day, and i made it really good, however nothing went well at all that day, every single thing that we did did not work out right, and let me tell you the thought of just being a fubeca (bad missionary) and doing nothing sounded really good even my companion and his companion for the day were tempting me to be a fubeca, (vamos jogar poker) when its the middle of the day, we only had one lesson and it was really bad, he was working and talking to other people in the street the whole time while we were on the phone call trying to teach, after the lesson two the elders we live with my comp elder Romero, and the comp of my companion for the day, they did nothing during the exchange and invited us to nothing as well, when we finally started doing visits we planned in our time on the street, either the address didn't exist, or they weren't home, we decided instead to try and contact people in the street, however no one was in the street for some reason, only one person was, and they declined to talk to us, however the exchange was really good even though we accomplished nothing, why you may ask, because my goal was to learn how to work more diligently, and forget myself and what i want and go to work, man i wanted nothing more than to stop working unsuccessfully and just eat lay down and go to sleep or play games with the elders who decided to be fubecas today, but i didn't, i did what was right, and went to work, however just because i did everything right, did not mean that i had a good outcome, nor did it mean that it was easy, it was a day of genuine hard work, with everything tempting me to stop, my own companion even, however i didn't stop, and i know that ill be blessed for doing so. and often we had afflictions in our lives they could be only for one day, or maybe a week, or even up to years, and they happen even when we do everything right, and they happen even when we continue to do everything right, and just because we do everything right doesn't mean that its gonna be easy either. we come to earth to experience things that are good, and bring us joy as well as to experience things that are hard, or sad. and both are experiences that help us learn, and grow during our lives on earth, and it's not easy, i can tell you that staying at home, playing video games and hanging out with my friends is way easier, than serving a mission, and i miss my friends and I'm extremely excited to see them again after two years, however i know that here in Brazil is where I'm supposed to be right now, serving the lord.

it's the end of another transfer again, and we found out that i will continue working in my area Vila Industrial, and My companion will leave to another area, and this is all they tell us until the actual day of transfers, so on Tuesday we will all go to the bus station and find out what will happen in regards to who our comps will be, and other stuff, it also means that you guys don't get to find out anything until next week, but I'm staying, honestly I'm pretty bummed that I've had two companions here in Brazil, and both of them will leave after only 6 weeks with me its hard to develop a unified, companionship with only 6 weeks, and this transfer was only 5 weeks, but the next will be 7. man when elder Romero heard he was being transferred, lets just say a lot of tears were shed. Elder Gonzalez, who I live with, will be the new district leader, and he will also have a new comp.

We had a testimony meeting today ( Sunday) and it was amazing, I think half the ward bore their testimonies, and they were all super powerful, really it was amazing, remarkable testimonies. We also had everyone we were hoping to show up to sacrament meeting show up to sacrament meeting. Jose was confirmed, and received the holy ghost. Joaquim, he came to church for the first time, sadly we also found out today that he doesn't live in our ward boundaries/ our area, and because of this the other sisters in our district will continue working with him, but Joaquim, we invited him to be baptized, and he has a baptism date for the 21st of January. and the best part of Domingo was that Luis was confirmed a member of our church and received the gift of the holy ghost.

😊😁

If you skimmed through everything (I can't really blame you) but... read this part please, and thank you, this is my most special experience of the mission so far.👍👍

man this journey with Luis has been a special journey, i had intended to talk about this story once i was transferred, or once Luis was baptized, and his baptism date ended up being delayed from November 18th to December 18th, to January 7th, but the day has arrived and he got baptized and i had the wonderful opportunity to baptize him as well, and now I'm going to share the most special experience I've had on the mission so far, this experience happened during my first, and second week in Brazil, I've already talked briefly about bits and pieces of this story but never the whole picture, 

I've said before, that before the mission, i had depression for two years, however i overcame the depression, and i did indeed overcome that depression through god, and scripture, and prayer, however admittedly, i had probably had overcome the majority, by coping with doing the things that i love, hanging out with my friends, playing video games/ volleyball. and when i got to the mission field, the first my depression had completely returned, it was full force back, i wanted nothing more than to go home, and be a service missionary or something, Brazil is a completely different world, and super overwhelming, the first day we didn't do any missionary i was just holding in my tears desperately ever day for the first week, and it was incredibly difficult, my first day journal entry is literally just three incredibly poorly written lines about how frustrated and overwhelmed i was, and really i wanted to go home, but i knew one thing if i read my scriptures i could find scriptures of strength, scriptures that could help me.

during the second week of home mtc, president beck gave a talk that really stood out to me, he told us to all turn to our companions and share our favorite scripture or the scripture that really stood out to us more than any other, one we've had a powerful spiritual experience with, when he said this i was instantly incredibly sad because i hadn't had that scripture i knew many awesome scriptures that were powerful, but i never had a powerful experience with a verse of scripture like he described, my heart and my spirit sank, then he said the words maybe you haven't found that scripture yet, instantly i felt the spirit powerfully and overwhelming, and i knew i needed to search the scriptures for the scripture that stood out to me powerfully. After several more weeks of MTC, I had more or less forgotten I was still searching but I hadn't found it, and it had left my mind by the time I flew to Brazil.

back to knowing nothing more than that i could find strength in the scriptures, i was diligently reading my scriptures every day, and then crying myself to sleep at night, until i read 1st Nephi chapter 7 verse 12 and it says 

"Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."

when i read this verse it was incredibly powerful and comforting, and an amazing spiritual experience, i learned, again by the power of the spirit, with greater emphasis, that i could overcome this problem with depression, with faith, i know that god wanted me to serve this mission, and therefore i can overcome this depression, through exercising faith in Jesus Christ. 

me and elder Bryan we went to my first in person lunch that i had in brasil, it was probably my 3rd day in brasil. after we eat a meal with members we always share a message at the end, and i decided i wanted to share this scripture that had become my powerful scripture with this family, it was pretty scary, remember its my third day in brasil i literally didn't speak almost any Portuguese, and i started reading the scripture and the first 10 words were ruff difficult to read, however then as i continued my Portuguese cleared up and i began to read it clearly, with very minor fault, i then began to share my testimony about how i knew that the scripture was true and that through faith anything is possible, my Portuguese was far from perfect in this moment, however my Portuguese was much better than i had the ability to talk before, and more importantly i bore my testimony with the spirit, what was so special about this message, was that i hadn't fully realized what had happened, until i looked up and saw that the Irma was in full tears because of the message she had heard, she had seen a miracle just as i had experienced it in that moment, during the whole lunch i understood not one single word they said to me and they didn't understand a word i said to them, however when it came to sharing a message of the gospel through the gift of tounges my tongue was loosed, and i spoke in Portuguese with the power of the spirit, and she recognized that this was what happened. this experience was really important and prepatory for what came next in my story.

we had gotten to the end of my first week in brasil, and we had our first lesson, this lesson was with luis, and it was with four elders the two elders we live with because they had been teaching luis before me and elder bryan showed up to open a new area. during this lesson with Luis i did indeed understand nothing of the Portuguese, but i had three other elders to back me up so i was good i just had to take my turn in reading the scriptures and we were good, luis was really nice and supportive, knowing that i understood nothing that was going on, however we got to a point in the lesson when i had a prompting of the spirit, the prompting was to testify about the power of faith, and let me tell you I've not had so many doubts about a prompting before, i spoke about another experience and how many doubts i had, and I've unfortunately had other experiences with many doubts about the promptings I've received, but Satan really wanted me not to follow through on this prompting i had in this moment because nothing takes the cake on doubts like this one did, i didn't understand what they were talking about i had no reason to believe that i made since to talk about faith and the power of faith, i don't speak Portuguese ill embarrass myself, and many more, the other three asked me if i had something i wanted to say, and unfortunately i said that i did not have anything to say.

We left the lesson and I got a breakdown from my companion, basically just that he has a problem with smoking.

now let me tell you every waking hour of the day every minute every single second of the week of every single day after that first lesson, i had the prompting to testify about faith, walking in the street, reading the scriptures, eating, the whole week the prompting continued, i knew we had another lesson coming up so i prepared, some phrases and did my best to be prepared to testify about faith, i studied some new words and practiced some rehearsed sentences, as my prompting continued until, we got to the next lesson, I've never had a prompting so firm in my mind before, it never ceased in my thoughts.

before the next lesson i had received a blessing from my companion, this blessing was very special, and it gave me a lot of comfort and strength that i could overcome my problem with depression, i received this blessing the same day as our second lesson with Luis, i received the blessing in the morning, and we had the lesson that night, after the blessing that morning, i never felt my depression come back, that day. 

as we were walking the 45 minute walk to Luis's house for this lesson i was practicing my phrases id prepared in my head, and they were basically this "i know that we can overcome any problem we have with faith" and i didn't exactly feel super ready, because i had a lot of doubts that i wouldn't know when to share my testimony about faith, and that I'd be able to communicate well, and not forget what i wanted to say, 

during the lesson it was mostly my companion talking in Portuguese teaching a lesson, from the scriptures, and me praying and hoping and waiting for the right moment to share my testimony about faith, because when you have a prompting for an entire week it becomes quite unforgettable, i continued to wait, until i had a prompting that this was the time, and then i spoke...

but it wasn't the words I had prepared...

I had the sentence I prepared in my head, but what I said was far from those phrases.

I said that we all have problems and difficulties, i have difficulties in learning Portuguese, and with depression, but i know that i can overcome my difficulties, through faith in Jesus Christ, and i know that this principle is true because i have overcome my trials with faith, and i know that you can overcome your trials with faith too. 

when i said these words the spirit was more powerful than I've ever experienced in my entire life, 

at the time of writing this i have a much greater vocabulary in Portuguese, and when i read the words that i said i cant help but feel that i could have worded it better or said the feelings of my heart, and testimony better if my Portuguese was like it is now, the words i said are simple, and plain, however, I know and i bear my testimony that this miracle that happened wasn't a miracle of knowing the words i needed to say it was a miracle of not needing to know what i needed to say, and i know that in this moment my tongue was loosed, and that through the gift of tongues i spoke in Portuguese in a way i was not able to speak to Luis before, and that the gift of tongues is real and is a true gift from god, and that god did loose my tongue so that i could follow this prompting and bear my testimony about faith to Luis, and that i know that despite the words i said being simple, and plain, the words were the words of the spirit and they bore testimony to Luis with the power of the spirit, that that through faith we can overcome, any difficultly we have, and i know that this testimony pierced the heart of Luis, and he felt the spirit as strongly as i did, and that despite me not having the ability to speak literally the words of my heart, the spirit delivered these feelings to the heart of Luis anyway through the gift of tounges, and that in that moment through the spirit, i and Luis knew that through faith we can overcome our difficulties, and we both knew the truthfulness of this message, and i know that through faith luis overcame his trial with smoking, and i also know that god gave me this difficulty in the start of my mission to help me develop my faith so that i would be prepared to share my testimony to luis in that day, and that if i hadn't had this experience with depression in the start of the mission, i would not have been prepared to receive the prompting, or to share my testimony, or to have this experience, because it was through my experience with depression that i learned the power of faith, and it was because of this experience that i was able to bear my testimony with power to luis, and i also know that because of this experience that the brazil Campinas mission is where i am supposed to be right now, and that one of the reasons i needed to be here in this mission in this area was to have this experience with luis, and to bear my testimony to luis, Ether 12:27 says, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." i humbled myself unto god, and had faith in god, knowing that the only thing i could do that would help me in my problem during the start of the mission was to read the scriptures and rely on god, because i was a the breaking point of giving up, i reached out my hand and put everything i had in him, i read the scriptures and prayed earnestly to received strength in my affliction, because it was the only thing that i knew i could do, every other thing had failed, and god was i had left, and god made my weakness of depression into my strength, god made my weakness of depression, into faith stronger than i ever knew was possible, and because of this experience and other experiences i know that miracles are real, they aren't coincidences, and i bear my testimony with fullness of heart, that miracles are happening in your lives every single day, some big, and some small, and i know that with faith, anything is possible, and that you can make changes in your lives for the better, and overcome any difficulty that you are having or will have, this is my most treasured mission experience i have, and it happened because i made the choice to stay and trust in the lord more than i had before, and i know that as you trust in the lord more than you had before, you will see blessings, and miracles that are more abundant and better than you can possible comprehend or imagine, i know that god has a plan for you and you are having your experiences for a reason, and i know that these things i have said are amazing everlasting truths, and that anyone can see these things in their own lives with just a little bit more faith than they had before, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen